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School Update: First Day Without Mama

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Jacob the Cat
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School Update: First Day Without Mama

[info]cottontimer
9/6/05 01:41 pm
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Jacob the Cat
Stephen cried but not the whole time. Screaming was kept to a minimum (or so the teacher said).

I didn't cry but had a hard time concentrating on anything for the two hours while he was in school. Those couple of hours felt more like ten.

There was no coloring today - neither inside nor outside the lines.
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  • [info]squarenails
    9/6/05 06:45 am (UTC)
    awwww. pat pat.
    i think the day might come when you can relish those 2 hours on your own? ;)

  • (Anonymous)
    9/6/05 07:03 am (UTC)
    it's a bit funny, the whole time you have been writing this, I felt I had nothing to compare, because I didn't put Miranda into preschool, and then suddenly I remembered that she used to go to the daycare at the grocery store (a wonderful thing, they would watch your children while you shopped.) And she was not quite three the first time we did it, we did a practice run of shopping for a few things. But it was this big deal for her, she would see the daycare when we were shopping, but she had to be three to go. And it was this great fun thing that she could do while mom shopped. And I am realizing that while she has expressed anxiety over me leaving her for other things, she never, ever was anxious about getting left at the grocery day care. Granted, it was for an hour on average, but still. Makes me think a bit.

    Something Ivy and I have started doing is that she is mama, and she has my purse and she says Ivy! going bye bye! and I cry a bit and then I say okay, mama is going bye bye, mama comes back! see you later mama, have fun!. And she walks off and then she comes back and we do this whole thing about how mama leaves, but mama always comes back.

    • [info]cottontimer
      9/6/05 07:21 am (UTC)
      Hello, [info]dragonfly1867. ;)

      That's it! It's not so much the going to school part but the separation from mommy. So you have had to do it before too just in a different environment. One hour at the grocery store is really no much shorter than two hours at school. Gotta wonder about my velcro boy.... :P

      We have been role playing with Stephen. Marv's the teacher and I do the dropping-off and pick-up routine. Stephen never fails to cry. *sigh*

      • [info]dragonfly1867
        9/6/05 04:33 pm (UTC)
        I thought I was signed in 8-) guess it wasn't too hard to figure out it was me haha


        Try the role play with Stephen in the different roles. Have him be you, or the teacher. Try some where you are him and at first you cry, but then say something like Oh school, I like school, we get to color today! And then when Stephen the mommy comes to pick you up, stress how much fun you had, but how glad you are to see him. Or have him be the teacher, taking one of you into the classroom and telling you how much fun it will be and what you will be doing.

        • [info]cottontimer
          9/6/05 04:35 pm (UTC)
          Good idea. We'll see how he fares at school tomorrow and take it from there. Cross your fingers for me!

  • [info]kenhontan
    9/6/05 07:45 am (UTC)
    My own nanny told me over the weekend that she adores Dylan so much and asked if she could come over to pick him up from my place while I'm at work for a couple of hours, so that she could spend time "enjoying" him.
    I know its ok to leave Dylan with her since she's the one who brought me up and I shld trust her... but the thought of having Dylan over at un unfamiliar place (to him) makes me feel uncomfy already. In the end, I had to tell her that she can come bring him over once he stops bfg since transporting of ebm can be quite a hassle... such a lame excuse, I know =P

    • [info]cottontimer
      9/6/05 02:33 pm (UTC)
      That's wild! I think you did the right thing and came up with a very diplomatic excuse. I don't think I would have been comfortable letting someone else take Stephen esp. before he could walk and communicate well.

  • [info]wosny
    9/6/05 09:34 am (UTC)
    Somehow I ended up on your real page...and it's changed yet again! Do you get bored very quickly with one format, or is it just a desire to experiment. Actually I loved that grey very techno design, it felt low key and asian somehow, like the flats in Beijing, but that's by the by!
    I do understand the ambivalence, and for what it's worth I think you are coping very well, one can't help wanting one's child to seen and do well by the standards given in school...and at the same time appreciate him for the uniqueness that he shows at home.
    Should he try to fit in? or stand out? and does anything you say or do help or hinder? I haven't an answer, but am reading with interest. Yes, girls are easier, but who wants life to be easy! Best luck...

    • [info]cottontimer
      9/6/05 02:35 pm (UTC)
      I change my layout every now and then for various reasons. This layout is my favorite by far because it's simpler, cleaner, and more professional in my opinion.

      You're right about wondering how much parents actually influence their kids beyond their temperament and their peers. Maybe I'll be able to figure it out when Stephen's older but probably not.... It'll be one of those great mysteries of life. Thanks for the luck!

  • [info]nikkis
    9/6/05 10:13 am (UTC)
    Poor little fella :(
    Most kids usually stop crying by the time Mum is in the car - there's usually way too much fun to miss out on :)

    • [info]cottontimer
      9/6/05 02:36 pm (UTC)
      I know he stopped crying after the first few minutes but would start up again at various times after. Hope he cry less tomorrow. *crosses fingers*

  • [info]gracefruit
    9/6/05 11:12 am (UTC)
    Oh Bless. It's hard when they cry like that, but it does get better. My son had a very hard time with my leaving him at school until the routine was set and he knew what to expect. I imagine it'll work the same for you. Soon you'll enjoy those hours for yourself.

    • [info]cottontimer
      9/6/05 02:37 pm (UTC)
      I can't wait until it does become routine. Unfortunately, we're scheduled to go to California in a couple weeks time so it may start all over again when we return. *sigh*

  • [info]far_gone
    9/6/05 11:58 am (UTC)
    You sound like you're coping well under the circumstances! My sister used to say that when she first starting leaving her son, she had the wierdest feeling of missing something -- just like the feeling when you realize you've left your purse behind somewhere. Shoot! Something's missing! Where's my bag/baby??!?! haha.

    • [info]cottontimer
      9/6/05 02:38 pm (UTC)
      haha I'm thinking of going out to do a little shopping while he's in school tomorrow. (I've promised him a giraffe.) It's definitely going to be weird not slinging him with me about town.

  • [info]mwana_isimu
    9/6/05 12:59 pm (UTC)
    Crying, but not the whole time, and minimal screaming sound pretty appropriate to me under such circumstances. Paul has been back in day care for four months now, and he still has frequent mornings where he cries or otherwise gets upset at the moment that I'm leaving. It's interesting, because when we get there, he starts running toward his classroom door and can't wait to get inside. It's like he forgets I'm going to be leaving.

    • [info]cottontimer
      9/6/05 02:39 pm (UTC)
      I know some kids are sad when they can't go to school because they're sick or something. Somehow I can't imagine Stephen being one of them. hhaha

  • [info]calypso72
    9/6/05 01:13 pm (UTC)
    Baby steps, for mama AND for baby.... :)
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