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Alpha Moms

[info]cottontimer
6/22/05 06:10 pm
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Alpha Mom Isabel Kallman


The New York Metro is calling Isabel Kallman the Martha Stewart of parenting. I guess if she's aiming for an ice queen image, then she certainly is modelled upon Martha. But if she's hoping to be as knowledgeable and hands-on with parenting as Martha is with homemaking arts (or at least before she made the big time), then Kallman's got a long way to go.

Ivy League educated, hard-driving former Wall Street senior VP Kallman is starting Alpha Mom TV for the "new breed of 'go to' moms who are constantly looking to be ahead of the curve and 'in the know' on the newest innovations, hippest trends and research breakthroughs."

Kallman dispenses advice to mothers she meets despite spending little time taking care of her own son. Preferring instead to let a "village" of nannies, babysitters, and assistants handle him while she spends 20 hours a day interviewing childcare experts, bargaining with TV execs. and networking at parties.

Her channel will be like a support group or a church--the church of the immaculate perfection. Goal-oriented parents can go there and find comfort that they’re not alone, that others are also struggling to grow the perfect child. They’ll be told what to do and what not to do and how to do it better--discover how to boost their newborn’s coordination and strength; learn massage that "can help babies eat and sleep better"; hear "research-based explanations of how children separate and attach"; and obtain guidance on "raising overachievers."

And when inevitably they’re frustrated in their goals, they’ll find programs for that, too: some calm high priestess of motherhood, some Oprah-meets-Martha image of perfection, coming on to absolve them for failing to be perfect today and bolstering their resolve to be more perfect tomorrow. You can do it, the message goes. You can raise "best of breed" children without ever losing your "sense of self."
If Isabel Kallman's life is anything to go by, being an Alpha Mom is nothing I'd aspire to or could ever succeed at. Nevertheless, I'm sure I won't be able to resist sneaking a peek at Alpha Mom TV if I get a chance.

Pointer from Blogging Baby.
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  • [info]lizardek
    6/22/05 11:17 am (UTC)
    Freaky that she (and people like her) can assume they can give advice on such a thing, when they spend so little time doing it themselves. Even if they have good ideas or advice when it comes to parenting, it's a little ridiculous, and a bad role model for the very thing you are trying to get across!

  • [info]wyllow42
    6/22/05 11:42 am (UTC)
    Did I read this right? She has ONE child (with whom she hardly spends any time) and she thinks she has all the answers to parenting because... why?

    This sounds dangerous at best. I'm willing to bet there's much ado about cereal in bottles and CIO techniques, and very little about natural parenting.

    No thanks.

    • [info]cottontimer
      6/22/05 01:30 pm (UTC)
      It's hard to say what kind of parenting she espouses. The article mentioned her trying to breastfeed and wear the baby but it was too overwhelming for her so she hired helpers to do that for her instead. I guess not everybody is cut out to do these intimate things with their kids. At least she recognizes that in herself.

      I'm torn between wanting to support her and wanting to rag on her. If I could watch Alpha Mom TV, then I'd be in a better position to judge.

  • [info]balmofgilead
    6/22/05 12:12 pm (UTC)
    Ewww.

    It's funny that they say "Oprah-meets-Martha." For awhile when each had her own TV show and magazine and cult following I heard mention of the trio--Oprah, Martha, and Rosie O'Donnell. Rosie's the one of the three that seems to like kids most, and she dropped out of the rat race to spend time at home with her kids.

    • [info]cottontimer
      6/22/05 01:35 pm (UTC)
      Whenever I see Rosie in Sleepless in Seattle, I think it's a shame she's not in the biz anymore. But she has actually gotten kinda nutters lately so maybe she needed to take a break.

  • [info]elyrie
    6/22/05 12:50 pm (UTC)
    Yikes. She doesn't seem to like her own kid enough to spend time with him.

    • [info]cottontimer
      6/22/05 01:37 pm (UTC)
      Yep. She admits to that herself. However, I think a stay-at-home mom like me often has a chip on her shoulder and is quick to judge others who doesn't spend all their waking hours with a child. The reality is that not every mother or father has the temperament to deal with small children. Shame on me. :(

    • [info]cottontimer
      6/22/05 01:38 pm (UTC)
      Oops, I meant shame on me for being so judgmental.

  • [info]pr1ss
    6/22/05 01:00 pm (UTC)
    That's a strange magazine. They are promoting people and trashing their images in an odd mix.I predict that it won't be long until the child is old to enough to feel patronized by all of the human relations gimmicks that he's being subjected too. Being held up as the example of good results through applied science is bound to irritate him.

    • [info]cottontimer
      6/22/05 01:22 pm (UTC)
      Well, any publicity is good publicity, right?

      Sadly, most kids resent the way they were parented to some degree. I just hope Kallman's doesn't flip out on her!

  • Not the kind of Mom I want to be either

    [info]qadira
    6/22/05 01:29 pm (UTC)
    Alpha Mom TV?! That sounds as bad as Nanny 911. lol

    • Re: Not the kind of Mom I want to be either

      [info]cottontimer
      6/22/05 01:40 pm (UTC)
      From Wikipedia:

      Humans and their nearest species-relatives, the chimpanzees, show deference to the alpha of the community by ritualized gestures such as bowing, allowing the alpha to walk first in a procession, or standing aside when the alpha challenges.

      So step aside, sister!

  • [info]mwana_isimu
    6/22/05 01:38 pm (UTC)
    I find this quite disturbing. Did they mention how old her son is? Is his father involved in his life? If she is so successful, you'd think her son's father could afford to stay at home with their son, at least part-time. I hate the notion of trying to raise "perfect children". No pressure on the kids, huh?

    • [info]cottontimer
      6/22/05 01:49 pm (UTC)
      I think her son just turned 2 and the father is a high powered record executive who doesn't have much say in the parenting of their child because she's the one who has done all the research.

      When you read the article, you sense that she and her husband were "perfect" before kids and intend to be as perfect as possible even after having kids.

  • [info]makeupmag
    6/22/05 01:52 pm (UTC)
    Horrifying. Am quite disturbed by this :P

    • [info]cottontimer
      6/23/05 01:55 am (UTC)
      She is quite intimidating, isn't she? Although I can see that she'd have an easy time getting people to follow her lead as long as they felt like part of her clique.

  • [info]bezigebij
    6/22/05 02:22 pm (UTC)
    Parents who view their children as project and simply another arena in which they can show off their success annoy the shit out of me. I pity their children.

  • [info]tinymich
    6/22/05 02:25 pm (UTC)
    In contrast to the rest of your readership, I would totally do this. I can totally see myself doing this. Even the pun in "best of breed" makes me smile. I wouldn't necessarily watch the TV channel, but I would gladly be that kind of mother. What's wrong with it?

  • [info]calypso72
    6/22/05 02:25 pm (UTC)
    Ugh, it sounds awful. And another reason to be glad we don't have cable tv.

  • Ummm, no.

    (Anonymous)
    6/22/05 03:11 pm (UTC)
    If children came from a wholesaler with preset factory configurations, this concept would be vaild. They dont, Alpha Mom is not the answer. I'll pass on this one, thnx. -mdmhvonpa

    • Re: Ummm, no.

      [info]cottontimer
      6/23/05 02:14 am (UTC)
      If children came from a wholesaler with preset factory configurations

      Sounds like there's a market for this. I'll look into it. ;)

  • [info]baggyk
    6/22/05 04:01 pm (UTC)
    Barf, vomit, gag, hurl chunks.

  • (Anonymous)
    6/22/05 08:18 pm (UTC)
    Good God--the name "alpha mom" is just the extra bitter icing on top of the sour cake.

    It sounds like the baby is no longer about the baby--it's about glorifying the mom. Which happens, no doubt, but why perpetuate this idea?

    - Maria over at intueri.org, who can't even worry about being an "alpha mom" because she's not having much luck with men, alpha or otherwise

    • [info]cottontimer
      6/23/05 03:19 am (UTC)
      extra bitter icing on top of the sour cake

      You have a such a way with words! I love it.

      I'm sure there's a man out there who appreciates your talent with words and other things! Besides, you can be an alpha mom even without a man. ;)

  • [info]abigailvr
    6/22/05 10:13 pm (UTC)
    She looks not very mom in that picture, just a whole lot of self-appointed alpha. She's not looking at the baby, she's not even holding him close! How sad.

    Did she really hire someone to breastfeed too?

    I'm sorry, does that say the goal is to raise an overachiever? A type A personality child who will beat themselves up for every mistake? Why does that not sound like a worthy goal to me?

    • [info]cottontimer
      6/23/05 03:26 am (UTC)
      Did she really hire someone to breastfeed too?

      Errr, probably not but I wouldn't be surprised if she got someone to feed her kid using a nursting supplementer (link for anyone who's interested).

      Maybe it's not a worthy goal for us to raise an overachieving type A kid but it would be for people who are exactly that!

  • [info]alisonrae
    6/23/05 02:19 am (UTC)
    You can raise "best of breed" children without ever losing your "sense of self."

    Sounds more like breeding dogs than raising children to me.
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