Cotton-Pickin' Days 1.0

One Year in Vietnam

cottontimer

4/6/05 11:55 pm

My maid, Tram, showing off one of her dishes, fried pho noodles.
Deep fried rice noodles topped with sliced beef and a sauce of green vegetables, mushrooms, and tomatoes.

One year ago, my domestic helper, Tram, started working for us soon after we arrived in Vietnam. I had my concerns about having a maid, not the least of which is calling her a maid because that's what they're called in Asia. While we've had some misunderstandings, I've grown to appreciate having Tram's help around the house.

She buys fresh produce for us from the local market where foreigners often pay double the price. She helps with ironing and dishes in addition to cooking local Vietnamese food for us a few times a week. She's also great company when we go to the park or out for groceries.

Most importantly, Stephen likes her and feels comfortable with her. It's a relief to be able to ask her to babysit him when I need to get a haircut every few months. She is even more trustworthy because she used to be a kindergarten teacher before her own daughter was born eight years ago.

When I was preparing myself to be a good employer, I read Global Woman: Nannies, Maids, and Sex Workers in the New Economy ed. by Arlie Russell Hochschild and Barbara Ehrenreich. This book plus many of the other articles and books I've read about employing nannies and housekeepers reminded me to treat her fairly especially when it comes to salary. So, to celebrate the one year she has spent with us, I gave her a 10% raise.

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• calypso72

  4/6/05 05:22 pm (UTC)

  

  Thanks for the book link. I'm passing it along to my sister-in-law who employed (in France) an illegal Phillipino woman and her husband who were living in Paris to earn money to send home to their kids in the Phillippines whom they never got to see. They were paid well, but it seemed like such a sad situation.

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  • cottontimer

    4/7/05 05:41 am (UTC)

    

    Global Woman would be the perfect book for your SIL to read if only to get a better idea of what overseas domestic workers go through. Mother seem to have it especially bad because even though they are providing for a materially better life for their family, their kids resent them for not being around and their husbands cheat on them. :(

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• goodjoan

  4/6/05 06:50 pm (UTC)

  

  Woo hoo! Congrats to her on the raise, and to you for being an awesome employer!

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  • cottontimer

    4/7/05 05:42 am (UTC)

    

    :)

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• twocatmommy

  4/6/05 07:02 pm (UTC)

  

  Wow, I was surprised to hear it's been a year for you there already!
  
  Good for you for your relationship with your maid and for giving her a raise!

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  • cottontimer

    4/7/05 05:43 am (UTC)

    

    Time has really flown by. That's why I think if you were to go for an overseas stint, you could actually think of it as an extended vacation. haha

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• qadira

  4/6/05 09:23 pm (UTC)

  

  the food looks wonderful
  Tram looks like a nice person
  it's really cool you gave her a raise. So many people don't give domestic help of any sort a raise ever.
  
  :)
  
  

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  • cottontimer

    4/7/05 05:57 am (UTC)

    

    I told her that I was giving her a rise partly because I noticed that prices around town have gone up a bit. She said she was afraid of telling me that in case I thought she was asking for a raise. Now, how many people would be so circumspect?

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• joyce_yww

  4/6/05 10:16 pm (UTC)

  

  Congrats both of you for getting a good match. Does she stayover every day or is she just covering the day and returns home every day? Just curious how domestic helpers work in Vietnam.
  
  For SGP, all fulltime domestic helpers are from overseas, Indonesia and Philippines mostly. Its harder to get adjusted for many domestic helpers, away from their loved ones and their very culture. For Philippines, some of their full time domestic helpers work from morning to evening and return home daily/weekly. They still get to enjoy the warmth of their home, less of an emotional adjustment for them.

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  • cottontimer

    4/7/05 06:03 am (UTC)

    

    Tram's actually only part-time. She comes in M-F from about 2:30-6:30. She was originally full-time, but we both agreed that I didn't have enough work for her (I later got her another part-time job with my friend). It was also too much for me to have a "stranger" in the house all day so I really don't think I could have a live-in helper.

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• abigailvr

  4/7/05 12:53 am (UTC)

  

  I was also surprised that it's been a year for you already!
  
  Good for you for making sure you treat her fairly.

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  • cottontimer

    4/7/05 06:07 am (UTC)

    

    It's been a year and I finally know where to shop. hahaa

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• jopeck

  4/7/05 01:11 am (UTC)

  

  Glad to hear your maid is working out well... the food she cooked looks, oh so, yummy!

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  • cottontimer

    4/7/05 06:08 am (UTC)

    

    If you come visit, I'll have her cook for you! ;)

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    • jopeck

      4/8/05 02:11 am (UTC)

      

      would love to visit... but definitely need succour (sp??)... hee hee

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• squarenails

  4/7/05 01:25 am (UTC)

  

  good help is always hard to find. a deserving 10% raise that must have been.
  and also, good employers are hard to find. those who find good bosses, stay. so you're doing something right! :)

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  • cottontimer

    4/7/05 06:09 am (UTC)

    

    So true. I know of people whose maids go home one day and never come back. And others who fire maid after maid on an almost monthly basis.

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• nineam

  4/7/05 01:53 am (UTC)

  Tram must be really happy! And you, really fortunate to have found her as your domestic helper.
  
  Oh yes. I don't like to use the word 'maid' too. It's sort of degrading. I always try to tell my students to call them 'home helpers' or simply 'aunties'.

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  • cottontimer

    4/7/05 06:12 am (UTC)

    

    She started crying! She said she was "moved" that I'd remembered her birthday last month (I gave her a hung bao) and that I'd given her a raise without her having to ask for it. Her loyalty, trustworthiness, and kindness definitely should be rewarded.

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• axegal

  4/7/05 02:07 am (UTC)

  

  wow looks like you have yourself a gem! Guess luck is also a factor. I tried applying all these corporate-type management with mine (drafted contract and terms, projected yearly increment like you and 2-3 off days a month plus a week's annual leave) and one got herself preggers and another made us wait up for her on her off-days when she moonlighted in a bar. sigh.
  
  which is why I've become disenchanted enough to DIY.

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  • cottontimer

    4/7/05 06:20 am (UTC)

    

    I've heard some pretty awful stories about maids so I'm really grateful to have met Tram from the start. She's the first helper I've ever hired and might have been the last if it didn't work out.

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• Gem..

  (Anonymous)

  4/7/05 02:17 am (UTC)

  Yeah I agree that she's a gem ... based on your description of her.
  Have you read about how a maid threw a boy off the flats and later killed herself... Goshhh ...
  Its difficult to get someone we can get along with
  God Bless .
  Janice
  http://www.parentsphere.com/user/hunnybunz/

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  • Re: Gem..

    cottontimer

    4/7/05 06:22 am (UTC)

    

    I've heard LOTS of scary stories about maids esp. those that are entrusted with children. Even though I think Tram is great with Stephen, I still don't feel 100% comfortable leaving him to her for longer than a couple of hours. I've asked her to babysit less than 5 times.

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• debralim

  4/7/05 02:56 am (UTC)

  

  has it been a year already ??!! time sure flies

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  • cottontimer

    4/7/05 06:22 am (UTC)

    

    I know! And now you have two beautiful daughters. :)

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• farahdean

  4/7/05 03:53 am (UTC)

  

  YAY to you for giving her a raise she derserve. It's wonderful to have help around the house especially when you are trying to raise a kid. A great bonus when the helper is great in so many ways like your case. :)

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  • cottontimer

    4/7/05 06:23 am (UTC)

    

    I was definitely much grouchier when we were still in Japan because I had to keep house AND deal with an infant.

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• silly_monkey

  4/7/05 04:05 am (UTC)

  

  Beautiful pictures! So colourful and full of life! Thank you!

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  • cottontimer

    4/7/05 06:23 am (UTC)

    

    I'm glad you enjoyed them! Now if only you could taste it.... ;)

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• rexkids

  4/7/05 03:12 pm (UTC)

  

  i would prefer to call them helper. They're afterall there to help us lessen our workload.
  it's really good of you to remember to raise her salary. i believe she will be more diligent in future :)

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  • cottontimer

    4/8/05 06:41 am (UTC)

    

    She can be a little absentminded, but overall, very diligent. It never hurts to give a little incentive, though!

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